Transmital Letter Rewritting Exercise

The following is a practice exercise in rewriting for a specific audience. Given that this exercise matches closely with goals on my learning plan, I feel that it is appropriate to write up my work here.

Rewrite this paragraph…

Here’s a copy of our final report, Power from the People: User-powered Computer Labs, the report you asked us on April 15 to complete by July 15. We think it’s just what the university should do.

… (1) for this audience…

This version of the report is written for the university’s Director of Facilities Management. The Director will review your report to decide whether to spend approximately $180,000 to outfit one of the Clearihue computer labs with 26 stationary bicycles that would generate enough electricity to power the computers. If the project goes ahead, you’ve been promised the full-time job of your choice with the company that would provide the materials to adapt the lab.

… (2) and then this audience.

This version of the report is written for a group of university students that wants to pressure the university administration into adopting environmentally friendly practices. You’re a member of this group, so the transmittal letter is addressed to your peers.

(1)
Attached is our final report, "Power from the People: User-powered Computer Labs", which presents a case for adapting the Clearihue computer labs to run on user generated power. This report is backed up by three months of research, and if implemented it has the opportunity not only to save the University of Victoria (UVic) money but also to make UVic an environmental leader in the international community.

(2)
I've attached my report that I sent to the university administration on installing exercise bikes to power the Clearihue computer labs. The plan in this report would significantly reduce UVic's carbon footprint and would set a good example for other universities to follow. Unfortunately, the administation isn't going to budge easily on this one. We should start flyering on campus to raise awareness and put some pressure on them.